Posts Tagged ‘jane austen’

Jane Austen’s Mafia!

Monday, May 11th, 2009

“An Epic Saga Of Disorganized Crime”

FileMafia!poster.jpg

Prune juice.  Celery.  A candle.  And an old, angry woman with a vengeance.  After that, a massive explosion.  That’s what I remembered from a film I saw a long, long time ago.

Oh, and a boy named Diane. 

And a hit-man with a spear-shaped violin case.

Before the Scary Movie(s) and Epic Movie(s) and many other “movie” spoof, there was Airplane!, Hot Shots!, and apparently, Jane’ Austen’s Mafia!

(I would like to take a moment to state that Jim Abrahams is obsessed with exclamation points…!)

I had watched all/part of this movie on cable television in a small village in the Philippines when I was much younger, but I could not remember the movie’s name.  All  I had were scenes…scenes so funny that they had been permanently imprinted into my brain.

Years went by, the Internet was invented and rolled out to the masses, and in a fit of boredom, I entered “mafia, mafia spoof, mafia comedy” into Google.  There it was – Jane Austen’s Mafia!  Jane Austen has been a busy lady after her death…books, movies, etc.

Neflix graciously allowed me to watch this movie again after 10 long years, and it’s still as good as it was in that small village in the Philippines.  Where else can you watch gamblers in casinos playing Go Fish, Candy Land, Chutes and Ladders, and “Last Red Cent” slot machines?  Spagetti en mass?  “Run, florist, run!”?  And most importantly – old, angry women with a vengeance?

If you’re looking for some hilarious takes on some famous movies of the 90s, then go see Mafia!  What have you got to lose?

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Pride and Prejudice and Zombies

Monday, May 4th, 2009

“It is a truth universally acknowledged that a zombie in possession of brains must be in want of more brains.”

File:PrideandPrejudiceandZombiesCover.jpgSo states the back cover of new classic Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, “co-authored” by Jane Austen and Seth Grahame-Smith.  A parody novel combining the much-beloved classic Pride and Prejudice with zombies (lots and lots of zombies…and ninjas!), this book is sure to bring entertainment…and a fresh take on Austen’s classic…to whomever dares to pick it up and open its pages.  It will definitely not disappoint.

I was one of those daring, curious souls to buy a copy and read it.  According to the L.A. Times, it contains 85% of the original text of Pride and Prejudice while the rest is zombie-killing, ninja-fighting awesomeness.  A strange plague has somehow struck England, and several have fallen prey to “Satan’s armies”.  The famous Bennett sisters are “brides of Death”, sworn to fight off the “unmentionables” who roam around their beloved Hertfordshire, looking for brains.  They are all trained in martial arts, shooting, and other forms of defense, but the eldest Bennett sisters are exceptional in skill as well as beauty.  Bingley, Darcy, and company are pretty much the same with their own fun skills thrown in.

Here are some of my favorite passages:

“A few of the guests, who had the misfortune of being too near the windows, were seized and feasted on at once.  When Elizabeth stood, she saw Mrs. Long struggle to free herself as two female dreadfuls bit into her head…As guests fled in every direction, Mr. Bennett’s voice cut through the commotion.  “Girls!  Pentagram of Death!”

From a corner of the room, Mr. Darcy watched Elizabeth and her sisters work their way outward, beheading zombie after zombie as they went.  He knew of only one other woman in all of Great Britain who wielded a dagger with such skill, such grace, and deadly accuracy.” – p.14

“’For my part,’ she rejoined, ‘I must confess that I never could see any beauty in her.  Her midriff is too firm; her arms too free of loose flesh; and her legs too long and flexible.  Her nose wants character – it is unbearably petite.  Her teeth are tolerable, but not out of the common way; and as for her eyes, which have sometimes been called so fine, I could never see anything extraordinary in them.  They have a sharp, knowing look, which I do not like at all; and in her air altogether there is a self sufficiency and composure which is intolerable.” – Miss Bingley about Elizabeth Bennett, p. 217

“As they made for the house, Elizabeth and Darcy happened upon a herd of unmentionables, no more than a dozen in number, which had quartered itself in a garden not ten yards from the road.  The creatures were crawling on their hands and knees, biting into ripe heads of cauliflower, which they had mistaken for stray brains.  Elizabeth and Darcy laughed at the sight, and for a moment, resolved to keep walking – as the zombies had failed to take notice of them.  But, sharing a glance and a smile, the pair realized they had stumbled onto their first opportunity to fight side by side.

And so they did.” – p. 302, (awwww!)

zombiesWhy did I find the book so entertaining?  Other than reading Austen English combined with one of my favorite fictional genres, I appreciated how the story still flowed smoothly to the same conclusion as Pride and Prejudice.  In fact, the added elements made each character’s pride, prejudice, thoughts, actions, etc. more extreme and obvious.  Mrs. Bennett was still as loathsome (if not more so), and Mr. Bennett a relatively weak sap, even if he had provided training for his daughter.  Pain was felt more strongly, urgency more urgent, and love more gripping during a time of such distress.

Plus, there is a “Reader’s Discussion Guide” at the end of the book in case you need some guidance in focusing your thoughts on the main elements of the story. ;-)  How can you ignore a book with a discussion guide?!

Pick up a copy or borrow one..and join the hordes.

P.S. – It has pictures.  At least read it for the pictures!

I hope they make it into a movie someday.

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